The Gallery- Chilled Out

This weeks theme for The Gallery is 'Chilled Out.'


There are many ways in which I personally like to relax and unwind- lying in a nice bath with candles and reading my book, watching television in the evenings while cuddling up to Mr E, getting into my dressing gown super early and having a large glass of white wine.  I could go on.  I think I am most chilled out when on holiday, I am happiest in the sun, lying on a sun lounger, reading my book with a cocktail in my hand.  All the stresses of life are forgotten when you are on holiday.  Although I realise it won't be quite as relaxing now Mads is on the scene!


Which is why I couldn't pick just one photo for my post this week when I have two which perfectly sum up the theme in my eyes.

The first...my 'old' life...travelling is one of my passions and I honestly enjoy nothing better than having the sun on my face.  (although I have recently started getting the dreaded crows feet so ought to reign it in a little!)

The second...my 'new' life which I would not change for the world.  Mads is a very chilled out baby who can sleep anywhere.  In this photo I put her down for about two minutes to put some clothes away in her wardrobe and this is what happened! (I put her in her moses basket after taking the photo- I am not that cruel to let her sleep on the carpet!)  I know it will change as she gets older but it never ceases to amaze me that she can sleep anywhere and through anything!  We went to a charity pub quiz with all my family a couple of weeks ago and were going to leave early but she ended up sleeping under the table.  I am very lucky that she is a 'chilled out' baby who rarely cries. (although she does have her moments!)


So there you have it.  Two very different interpretations of 'chilled out' but both perfect in their own way.




Now head over to Tara and check out the other entries...

Breastfed babies develop fewer behavioural problems?

Another day and another study has been conducted which suggests babies that are breastfed for four or more months are less likely to develop behavioural problems.


The 'Millenium Cohort Study' looked at the feeding habits of 10,037 mothers and their babies.  They were asked to assess the problems in their children by the time they reached the age of five including lying, stealing and clinginess.  Only 6% of breastfed children showed some of these traits, compared to 16% of formula fed babies.  


Mothers who breastfeed tend to be older ladies from a higher socio-economic background and are more highly educated. But even after adjusting their research to take this into account they still found a 30% increased risk of behavioral problems in breastfed babies.


I have been exclusively breastfeeding Mads who is now 19 weeks old and I have written before about the struggles I have had with nursing her.  It most certainly hasn't been easy but for a number of reasons I was determined to continue.  However I was lucky that I found a wonderful breastfeeding councillor and had great support from my Mum and Mr E.


However I can't help but wonder what affect these kind of studies have on those who would like to breastfed but can't for whatever reason, and how it makes them feel,


A friend of mine with a baby the same age as Mads got severe post natal depression and had to stop breastfeeding because of the anti-depressant medication she was on.  Out of a group of eight of us she is the only one to be formula feeding and she often says she feels like she has to justify to others why she gave up.  Another friend of mine whose baby is a little older says she feels guilty every time someone mentions breastfeeding and often wishes she tried harder to carry on.  Am I the only one who thinks that women should not be made to feel guilty for their choices?


What about women who don't have the support available like I did?  The first two weeks every time Mads latched on I cried in agony and the only reason I carried on to start with is because my Mum and Mr E helped me by hiring me a hospital grade breast pump and holding my hand while she latched on.  They even massaged my breasts for me when I got mastitis because I couldn't do it myself.  What about ladies who don't have this support?  Surely studies like this actively promoting 'breast is best' often make people feel terrible for the choices they have made.


While I do agree that we should be encouraging women to breastfeed as it is proven that it is a very healthy choice for babies, I do think that studies like this unfortunately make women who have been unable to or who have chosen not to, feel guilty or pressurised.


I was formula fed from birth and my sister was breastfed and there has always been a joke in my family that she is the 'naughty' one.  I had no behavioural problems growing up and have no allergies or health problems except slight hay fever.  I know that we are just one family, but I just think every time a new study comes out actively promoting the benefits of breastfeeding we should think of those women, like my friend, who decided not to breastfeed, or my other friend who physically couldn't, who will unnecessarily be feeling guilty about the new findings in research.


To read the full news story go to BBC News

To Wean or not to Wean?

I have decided that I am going to do a weaning diary/project on my blog over the coming months which will highlight how I am getting on with weaning Mads, from her very first taste to when she can start eating proper meals.  I already have been sent some interesting products to review and I hope that we can look back on it when she is older and think that it was a success, as well as help any other weaning Mums that may stumble upon this blog.

Yesterday I went to a weaning discussion at my local Surestart centre.  I was hoping that I would come back fully armed with information in regards to starting to give Mads her first food's.  Unfortunately although the talk was really interesting and helpful, in a way it did make me more confused.

Mads is going through a 'phase.'  She has gone from sleeping through for almost twelve hours to waking every few hours crying and not settling.  Sometimes I feed her but she takes about three minutes and then falls back to sleep so I am not sure if it is hunger.  Sometimes she just cries and I manage to settle her.  Three times this week she has ended up coming into our bed in the early hours of the morning which is what I really didn't want to start doing.

I do not know if it is teething or that she is hungry but something is definitely different.  I went and got her weighed this morning and she now weighs 14lbs so she has dropped down the growth chart slightly. I mentioned to her about maybe starting her on some baby rice but she advised that it might be better to give her a formula milk feed at night to try and fill her up more.  I have reservations about this though as I have managed to breastfeed her up until now with my fair share of struggles, I think if I can just struggle on another 3 or 4 weeks then maybe I can just start her on food.

I had made up my mind to start Mads on some baby rice this week but after going to the talk yesterday they explained that the World Health Organisation recommends that babies are exclusively breastfed until 6 months and food should not be introduced before 22 weeks at the earliest.  Mads is 19 weeks tomorrow.  That said I know a lot of babies that have gone onto solids earlier than six months and are absolutely fine.

I have been looking at the Annabel Karmel book series on Weaning which look brilliant so I shall go and buy a few when I next get paid my maternity pay as I think they will help when deciding on recipes.       I am going to try and make a lot of my own things for her but also use some of the better brands of baby food.  I am looking forward to helping her learn about food and try new tastes and can't wait to start but think I will try and hold off another couple of weeks.

When did you wean your little ones?  Did they like food?  What was their first taste?  I really am looking forward to her trying food but at the same time it is a little daunting.  I keep saying I shall make her lots of different meals but this is coming from the girl who can't cook to save her life and finds beans on toast taxing to prepare.  However I am determined to give her lots of variety so I would really like to prepare her own food plus use prepared baby food as well.  Next mission is to buy a blender!

Wish me look and keep reading to see how I get on!

The Gallery- April

So the theme for this week over at Sticky Finger's is April.


Normally I associate April with the dreaded April Showers, a time when it is not yet hot enough to go without a coat and when the rain makes the days seem a lot more dreary.


However this April we have had some beautiful weather, and it feels like Summer well and truly hit the streets of Britain.  Although I draw the line at seeing men with their tops off walking down the street (nor in August either please- its not nice trying to do my shopping in Tescos and seeing white pasty torsos with moobs!) I do love seeing us all get excited about the hot weather and I made sure my toes were nicely polished ready for the return of my flip flops from the back of the wardrobe!


April marked a few firsts for my new little family of three but there is one photo that sums up our month- below is a photo of our first picnic together.  For me picnics sum up summertime and also family fun, it is a low cost, lovely way of getting outdoors and enjoying Britain and being together as a family.  I am looking forward to doing many more as Mads gets older.

Apparently July and August are going to be a washout (don't they always say this?) so I think its good we are getting these in these Summery activities now.  Of course we also had other firsts...both mine and Mads first Royal Wedding, our first Easter as a three, and Mads first trip to the seaside.  We also had two lovely bank holidays to enjoy.


All in all April has been rather lovely!




Now head over to The Gallery and see what April meant to some other lovely bloggers...

Whats in a name?

One of the first important responsibilities as new parents to be is to decide (without fighting) on a name for your new bundle of joy.

I think it is a big decision and not one to be taken lightly.  After all your new 'Princess Tiaamii' or 'Apple' is going to have to live with their new name for the rest of their lives.

We made the choice to find out the sex of our baby at the 20 week scan.  We thought it would be easier then to decide on a name if we knew what 'flavour' we were having.  Unfortunately not.  We still couldn't agree on a suitable name for our new baby girl.  Millie, Isabella, Charlotte and Madeleine were our top contenders, however in the end we had 99% settled on Madeleine before she was born.

When you are pregnant everyone wants to put their two pennies worth in about your own personal decisions.  First everyone wants to know whether you will find out the sex and gives their opinions on what you should do.  Next people want to know what names you have thought of.  I have friends who have not mentioned any names until the baby has been born in order to keep it a surprise but we did tell a few people our shortlist.  Most people told us their favourite off the list and that was it.  However I did tell one guy I worked with that one of our favourite names was Madeleine.  He turned to me and said 'Oh don't call her that, she will be forever associated with Madeleine McCann.'

He really upset me.  If I had told him that after she had been born, I am sure he wouldn't have dreamt of saying that so why say it to me before?  Why do people find it necessary to give their opinions to a very personal decision?

I have always loved the name Madeleine and one imbecile almost stopped us calling our daughter a name we both loved and agreed on.  I know I shouldn't have cared what he thought but I started to question whether others would think this as well.

If no one ever called a baby a name of a celebrity/historical figure/person from their past then there wouldn't be many names left.  Everyone is entitled to their opinion and I know that not everyone will agree on names, but I think for our next baby we will keep quiet about what we are calling them until they are actually born.

According to Bounty the top girl's name for 2010 was Olivia and the top boy's name was Jack.  Madeleine didn't make the top 100 but Katie was No 20.  At least I can say to her that her Mummy is still trendy in some respects!

Silent Sunday...

We used to be cool...honest!

We went out for dinner last night to celebrate my Mum's birthday and were having a jokey discussion with my sister and stepsister and her boyfriend about how we honestly 'used to be cool!'  My step sister used to live in America until a year ago so we have only known her and her boyfriend since she moved back to the UK.  When she first arrived I was 12 weeks pregnant so she has only ever known me as a Mum to be and a Mummy.


I was joking around with them all and saying that when Mr E and I met we honestly were good fun!  It was all said in jest but it did get me thinking.  Has parenthood changed us?

Take a look at these two photos.


The first one is when Mr E and I first got together.  Life was just one big haze of pulling all nighters, drinking far too much, and having no cares in the world except which outfit to wear on a night out and which cocktail to choose.  I was working in a bar having finished university and was just enjoying myself.  We had no responsibilities.  I lived in a gorgeous rented flat in Leeds city centre and all my money went on clothes, alcohol and going out to nice restaurants.  


The second one was taken on Mother's Day just recently.  Life is now completely different.  We have a lot of responsibilities, we are parents, we have a huge mortgage and money is tight because all our wages go on paying our outgoing bills.  We both have different jobs, I am an account manager (when not on maternity leave eating cake) and Mr E is a web designer.  I get tipsy after a glass of wine and I haven't been in a nightclub for well over a year.  I can't remember the last time I was outrageously drunk.


We have physically changed in the photos.  


Six years has passed and we look older.  My hair is not so shiny and long and I have realised that sunbeds are bad for you.  Mr E's hair is going a little thin up top. (He told me yesterday he reads my blog at work so I need to be careful what I say!)  We both have added a few pounds to our waistlines!  


But its not the physical differences that I am talking about.


Its the emotional changes that you can't see.


Have we changed since having our beautiful Mads?  The answer is yes we have.  Not in a bad way, just different.  And not really since having our daughter, just since 'growing up' and having responsibilities.  
We don't have the money to go out all the time.  And I most certainly wouldn't want to anymore.  I would much prefer to go out and have dinner in a nice restaurant than go to a nightclub.  I would still like to buy lots of clothes but now I enjoy buying them for Mads even more.  


I do worry that we don't get to have time as a couple as much anymore but we are lucky that my Mum loves babysitting Mads so we try and go out for a drink for an hour once a week.  Life gets in the way and we don't have much disposable income but buying our home is helping us secure our future.  Compared to a lot of people we are very lucky that we have managed to get on the property ladder so we shouldn't complain.  In a few years once we change our mortgage deal we will be in a fortunate position so its just a case of muddling along financially until then.  We get tired, we snap at each other occasionally but we are so lucky.


Lucky to have such a beautiful girl, lucky to have a fabulous home, lucky to have a supportive family and lucky to have each other.


Yes a Slippery Nipple is more likely to be something to do with breastfeeding than an alcoholic shot these days but I wouldn't change it for the world.


However I know what we used to get up too, so when we have these discussions in the future I can safely relax in the knowledge that we did 'use to be cool!'

The Gallery- My Blog

This weeks Gallery is the theme 'My Blog.'


I am very new to the world of blogging, having only had my blog for around a month.  However even in the first week I was enjoying it so much I knew that it was going to be a big part of my life.
I have always enjoyed writing but since having Mads 16 weeks ago, I decided that I wanted a place to document her life growing up and a means to chat to other people going through the same experiences as me.


When I first started it was really going to be just a place for me to write, I had no idea about the world of parent blogging but after starting to look at some blogs online as inspiration, I realised just how many mummy and daddy bloggers there were out there, and that was it, I was hooked.

Primarily this is the reason why I blog!  For my little family.  To document my daughters life as she grows up.  For me.  I find it therapeutic typing away and socialising with other mummy bloggers.  I want to make friends.  I want people to accept me.


I love it when my blog gets comments and I love getting followers.  Its nice to know that people are reading what I am writing and when they comment it is even nicer because it means I have written something that they want to reply too.


I want to shout to the world how much I love my little family and I want to learn from other more experienced mummies about how to raise my daughter and what has worked for them.


I know just from being part of this world for a few weeks that it is a very close knit community but I hope that I will be able to be a part of it.


If I can achieve these things from 'My Blog' then I will be a very happy girl.

Grandma or Nursery?

Although it is only April it is soon going to be time for me to think about my plans for when I go back to the dreaded word beginning with W and ending in K.  I am still desperately trying to look for a job that enables me to work from home, but unfortunately all the jobs that are more flexible don't make enough money for me to cover my part of our outgoings.


I am also hoping to work part-time if my work will let me, but even then it is going to be a stretch.  However at the moment it works out more financially viable for us if I work part-time rather than full-time due to the ever increasing costs of childcare.


I was interested to read an article on the Ask a Mum website titled 'Do we rely on 'super grandparents too much for our children's childcare?'  The article basically states that on average four million grandparents in the UK are providing at least 10 hours childcare a week for their grandchildren.


We currently have this dilemma at the moment so I was really interested in reading more about it.  My Mum presently doesn't work and has said that she will quite happily have Mads if I went back to work three days a week.  


The problem is I don't want this.  Sure it would help us out financially as childcare is so expensive.  But when I think back to my childhood we saw one set of Grandparents about once every two weeks and the others a lot less because they lived further away.  I was always so excited to see both sets because it was a treat to go round there, and because I was their Grandchild and we didn't see each other a lot, I got spoilt, both in presents and attention.  I can remember my Nana playing jewellery shops with me for hours and my other Grandma making cakes with me.


I worry that if Mads goes to my Mums all the time then it will ruin the special time that she will have with her Grandma.  Don't get me wrong, she will have an amazing bond with her anyway because my Mum adores her and sees her most days at the moment anyway, but I never want it to have to be a chore for my Mum.  She keeps saying that she would never be a chore and she would love to have her, but this is just my personal choice.


I don't know what is going to happen in regards to my work but as it stands at the moment I would ideally like Mads to go to her Grandma once a week and into a nursery the rest of the time.  This means she can socialise with other children and become independent but also have a wonderful day with her Grandma that she will look forward too and so will my Mum.


I can understand why Grandparent's are being used for childcare a lot more in this current economic climate and my Mum can't understand why I don't want Mads to go to her more, especially as I am concerned about the nurseries in my area.  But it will be nice to have the balance between the two.


Or alternatively I will win the lottery and I can stay with her myself!

Should I be made to feel uncomfortable?

There is one thing that I have a real issue with when it comes to taking Mads out and about.


If she cries...


Unfortunately she is a ticking time bomb and can cry at any opportunity.  She generally is a good little girl but like all babies, can occasionally have grumpy days.  (Can't we all!)   


The other day I went out for lunch with my Mum to a nice pub.  I don't get to spend much quality time with her so I was really looking forward to relaxing with a glass of wine and having a chat.  As soon as we walked in I noticed that it was rather busy.  Mads was asleep in her pram and we sat down opposite a large group of about fifteen older ladies.  Straight away I clocked them and mentioned to my mum that I hoped Mads didn't wake up.


We received our main meals and unfortunately Mads did wake up.  However she woke up in a great mood and was smiling and giggling away.  She was due a feed and fortunately I had bought a bottle of expressed milk with me, so as I was having risotto and my Mum was having a salad, she said she would feed her while I finished my lunch.


She wolfed down her bottle and then I think she got some trapped wind.   She started whinging a little, literally just a small amount.  I am perfectly happy to admit when she is being a terror and she can scream the house down when she wants too, but this literally was the tiniest whimper which lasted about three seconds.  I was facing the group of ladies and as soon as she did it I turned my attention to them because I could see them all looking at each other.  I noticed that a couple of them tutted and rolled their eyes.


I felt so uncomfortable and said to my Mum that I would take her outside.  She told me not too, that she was fine and she wasn't making a noise at this point.


I carried on eating my lunch and Mads was as good as gold perching on my Mum's shoulder.  My Mum then went to move her on to the other shoulder and she whimpered again and then stopped.  Again I saw the same couple of ladies in the group look at each other and tut.  One actually whispered 'This is enjoyable over lunch,' it was loud enough for me to hear.


I got up and took Mads while my mum finished her meal and as I stood up I caught one of the ladies eyes.  This actually was one of the nicer ones who had smiled at me when we arrived.  I turned to her and apologised if we were disturbing their lunch.  She smiled and said 'Oh don't worry at all, she is being a very good girl, I haven't heard a peep out of her.'  She then started chatting to Mads and cooing over her.  They then all started asking me about how old she was, what was her name etc.  The two women that had tutted then at least had the decency to look down at their dinner plates.


The whole situation made me feel really uncomfortable and really made me wonder about these ladies.  I am a polite person and would never even dream of saying something to anyone but they made me really cross.  I am sure that they had children or grandchildren themselves and I wonder how they would feel if someone was making their daughter feel uncomfortable.


Doesn't a baby have just as much right to eat her lunch as they do?


I could understand if she was screaming the place down, but she barely made a whimper.  Unfortunately there are always going to be people like this around and I think that we all need to remember that we were all babies once.


Rant over!

Silent Sunday...

Flashback Friday- We don't do Christmas by halves!

For my Flashback Friday this week I thought I would relive two very special Christmas Day's.  


I have always adored Christmas, when I was little it was for the presents (obviously!) and now it is because it is the one day of the year that life doesn't get in the way, I get to see all my family in one place, no one is rushing around here and there,  and I have their undivided attention.


I had never spent a Christmas Day away from my family until two years ago and I have now done it twice in a row!  


Christmas Day 2009 was the first time I had spent it away from them.  Mr E and I had just got married on the 20th December and we flew out on our honeymoon to Mexico and Miami on the 21st so we were away over the whole of Christmas and New Year.  It was a fabulous honeymoon and I loved every single second but it was strange not being with my family and opening our stockings together like we do every year!  I have been abroad over Christmas once before, we went to Dubai, but I have never been away without them.


It was a magical Christmas.  We woke up and each gave each other a gift that we had packed- mine was a charm for my bracelet and Mr E got a few different bits.  My mum had also packed us a present each.  We went for a lovely early morning walk on the beach and Mr E took this photo.

The beach was deserted which was lovely and we got a lone walker to snap the photo of us below.

We then lay by the pool and it was surreal because a saxophonist played Christmas songs while we were sunbathing and drinking champagne!  Below is a photo we took to send to our family to wish them a Happy Christmas. (And also make them jealous!)

We then had a candlelit dinner on the beach in the evening which was amazing, we were the only ones on the beach and we drank a lot of champagne and wine and celebrated our first Christmas together as husband and wife,






Fast forward to December 2010 and it was a slightly different story!

Our beautiful daughter was born on Christmas Eve and I was in hospital on Christmas Day.  Unfortunately the hospital had closed the ward to all visitors except your birth partner due to Swine Flu so my family couldn't meet Mads until we were discharged which upset me a bit.  Also they were strict with the visiting hours which meant that Mr E had to go home at lunchtime.  I enjoyed Christmas Lunch on my own while Mr E was round at my mums with all the family!


I got a midwife to snap this photo of me cause I just look so pitiful!  I had to pull my cracker with the midwife and have my Christmas dinner alone!  (Well Mads was there but she wasn't too entertaining!) 


That thing on my plate was supposed to be stuffing but after the midwife said it looked like my placenta I decided to give it a miss!

Here is Mads getting in to the festive spirit!


Two very different Christmases but both absolutely amazing!  This year we have promised my Mum that we will most definitely be there to drink and get merry with them all.  I can't wait, we will all be there but this time we will have an extra special little person there to share it with.  Christmas is going to get even more magical as she gets older because we can live the magic through her eyes.  I can't wait to put out a mince pie for Father Christmas and a carrot for Rudolph.  



Now head over to Cafe Bebe and check out the other entries in Flashback Friday this week.

My first major Mummy wobble.

Last night I had my first real feeling of  'I am not very good at this' and I didn't like it one bit.


Mads was fine during the day and then around 6pm she started getting a little grouchy.  I went off for a bath and Mr E was downstairs with her, he was cooking dinner while she was sitting in her bouncy chair.  I could hear her getting more and more grumpy so I went downstairs to look after her.


She suddenly started screaming and screaming and there was nothing we could do to stop her.  It was a cry unlike I have ever heard before.  It was a high pitch shriek, followed by a brief pause, followed by more shrieks.  I could tell she was in pain but I didn't know where or why.


I tried rocking her and this didn't work.  I tried cuddling her, stroking her, singing to her, putting her on the floor and rubbing her tummy, I took her nappy off and moved her legs, I tried feeding her, both from a bottle and then from me.  Nothing.  She just was screaming more and more and nothing I could do would stop her.


This carried on for about half an hour, but it felt like an eternity.  She was getting more and more worked up and her little face was streaming with tears.  She was looking at me, her eyes looked so unhappy and I felt dreadful that there was nothing I could do.  Eventually she stopped for all of ten minutes before starting again, this time more ferociously than the first.  In desperation I rang the emergency doctors but was left on hold for ten minutes- by this time she had stopped again.  We managed to feed her and get her to sleep in the end because I think she was so exhausted.


After she went to bed I just got so upset and Mr E didn't understand why.


What kind of Mum can't stop her daughter from crying?  Was it something I had done?  Had she got tummy ache from something I had eaten?


I then got panicked that she was going to be poorly in the night and I wouldn't know.  What if she got a temperature and a rash and I wasn't aware because I was asleep?


I have had situations with her where I have been worried before but it was the first time that I felt like there was nothing that I could do and it was horrible that I couldn't help her.  I felt like I couldn't comfort my own baby.


There are going to be a lot more occasions where I am going to question my parenting skills and I do know this.


The realisation dawned on me that myself and Mr E are going to mould our daughter into the child/teenager/adult she is going to become.  Her destiny in a way is in our hands.  We need to provide for her, give her a good home, a happy home life, and the emotional and physical support she will need in order to thrive.


We will need to pick her up and give her a hug when she falls off her bike, let her snuggle in our bed when she has had a bad dream, kiss away her tears when she has had a fight with her friends at school, try and make her smile when she has her heart broken by her first boyfriend.  We will have to discipline her if she doesn't do well at school, or have stern words if she upsets someone, I will go shopping with her to buy her first prom dress and have tears of joy running down my face when she walks up the aisle.


When I look into her tiny little eyes I don't look to the future, I just look to the here and now and how remarkable and amazing she is. It's only when I stop to think about it, I realise what exciting, tough and downright scary times I have ahead of me.


No one said being a parent is easy, but at the same time it's the most incredibly rewarding job in the world.


And although I will have my wobbles, all I know is that I am going to love my daughter unconditionally for the rest of my life.

How long should I wait to have my next baby?

Mads is only 15 weeks old and I have already had the inevitable question.


'When are you going to have another one?'


In fact I have been asked this question since she was just a month old.  A month!  My stitches on my c-section hadn't even healed and I was sleep deprived, fat and engorged.  I couldn't see myself wanting another child in a hurry, however amazing Mads was.


Fast forward a few weeks and it is a totally different story!  The summer is coming, Mads is at a brilliant age and I am starting to get more sleep.  I have got the hang of this Mummy malarky (sort of) and could totally see myself wanting another baby.


The question is when?


A lot of my friends are saying they want children really close together.  I can understand that.  Ideally I would like to wait until Mads is a year and then start trying for our second one.  However Mr E would like to wait until she is around two before we start again.


I just don't know.  What age gap is best?  I know I want to enjoy Mads without feeling fat, tired and sick from being pregnant again. However I am also aware that just because it was easy for me to get pregnant the first time, doesn't mean it will happen so easily again.


My mum had no problems conceiving me but then it took her another ten years of actively trying to have my sister.  They went for lots of tests and there didn't seem to be any problems- they put it down to 'unexplained infertility.'  Eventually my sister was born, and even now because there are almost ten and a half years between us, people always assume she is a step or half sister.


Another thing people always ask is whether we have any sort of bond because there is such a large age gap.  They assume that we have nothing in common and that we aren't close.


This is completely wrong.  In fact my little sister is one of my best friends.  She has my exact same sense of humour, and is a wonderful Auntie to Mads.  When I see her we just laugh constantly.


Here we are, then and now!

I happen to think that it is completely your choice and I find it quite frustrating when people constantly ask me when I am going to have my next one. It has been like that throughout mine and Mr E's relationship.  When are you going to get engaged?  When are you going to get married?  When are you going to have a baby?  Now when are you going to have another baby?  I want to enjoy this one thank you very much!  


We will start trying for our second one when we are good and ready, hopefully it won't take ten years, but even if it did, I know that our children will have a close bond because we are a family that are full of love and closeness.  

I think my baby monitor may be haunted!

When Mads was a week old we had a terrifying episode where she wouldn't wake up and we had to rush her to A and E.  She was breathing but unresponsive while they were running her down the corridor but eventually they stimulated her enough to wake her up.  She stayed in hospital for two days and they ran lots of tests on her, and they all came back clear.  It was the most scary and awful experience of my life but since that day she seems to be fine.  I think it may have been that she hadn't had enough food as I was struggling a lot with breastfeeding at that time, but I am no doctor.  


Anyway I digress.  After we came out of the hospital I became so paranoid for a couple of weeks that I went straight out and bought one of the Angelcare Sound and Movement monitors.  


If you don't know what they are, they basically are your normal baby monitor except they have a mat that goes under the cot which records movement and will emit an alarm if the baby stops moving for twenty seconds.


Even though Mads is in our room, I made Mr E hook this contraption up to her moses basket.


All is fine and we have had no false alarms (except when I am sleepy at 5am and take her out her basket and forget to put the monitor on hold and we have the loudest alarm blaring out at us- I do actually find it quite satisfying as it wakes Mr E up!) and this monitor does reassure me.


However about a month ago we were lying in bed fast asleep and I suddenly heard a woman singing a lullaby.  I shot up out of bed, armed with the closest weapon which happened to be a Jo Malone candle, (not sure how much damage they can do) before I realised it was coming from the baby monitor.  We were treated to an entire rendition of Hickory Dickory Dock before we turned it off and turned it back on again.


Since then we have been treated to all manner of delights.  We have had singing, we have had crying (from the babies I presume!) and we have had talking.  We are not sure if it is coming from the same house or whether it is coming from a number of different houses but all we know is it is driving us crazy!  We have had a man and a woman chatting to each other and Mr E and I are worried that we one day are going to hear them having a bit of fun.


Last night it woke us up three times, as it always has a huge amount of interference on there which makes it very loud.  We have tried changing the settings so it is not so sensitive but this has made no difference whatsoever.


The problem is Mads is going to be going into her own room in the next few weeks and I don't want to have to panic that there is a slightly out of tune woman in her room every time it goes off in the night. 


Friends who have got this monitor look at me like I am deranged when I explain about it, so I am not sure why it is happening to us and no one else.  Can a baby monitor be possessed?! 

Silent Sunday...

Hip Hip Hooray!

Mads has always been a little monkey, even before she was born.

She was observed as breech in our 20 week scan, the sonographer said that she was only the size of a cantaloupe and would move head down when she was ready.  (Why do they always compare babies in the womb to fruit and veg?!)

I went for an antenatal appointment at 24 weeks and from them feeling my tummy they said she was still breech but not to worry because 97% of babies had turned by the end of pregnancy.

At 28 weeks I went back and she was still breech....and so on and so on until 36 weeks when I was booked in for a scan to check her position.  While there we discovered that our little terror was not only the wrong way up, but measuring rather large and also in the footling breech position (where their feet are poised to come out first) meaning that she was very unlikely to move round on her own.  We were not offered an ECV (External Cephalic Version) where they try and manipulate the baby to turn on their own using their hands because of the position her legs were in.

So we were booked in for a C-section on Christmas Eve.  While at the pre-op appointment we were told that it was routine for breech babies to have an ultrasound hip examination at around 6 weeks and it was very rare for there to be anything wrong.

Caught up in the excitement (and tiredness!) a new baby brings we completely forgot about the hip appointment until the letter came through when Mads was 6 weeks old.  We weren't worried in the slightest having been told that it was very unlikely there would be an issue and it was just routine.

Off we went to the appointment and popped her on the bed to have the ultrasound done.  The sonographer was the lady who did my 12 week scan!  After completing the procedure she noted to us that Mads hip joints were very shallow and she believed her to have Developmental Dysplasia of the Hip (DDH) or 'Clicky Hip Syndrome,' and that we needed to go downstairs where the paediatrician would be waiting to talk to us.

In a nutshell DDH is a condition in which the hip joint fails to develop properly in the womb.  It is more common in girls, breech babies and those who have hip problems running in the family.

We went to talk to the paediatrician who examined Mads and explained that she would need to be fitted with a Pavlik harness for at least 12 weeks for 24 hours a day.  This would help keep her hips in place in order for them to have a chance at growing and forming properly.  This would be fitted the following week.

We came away feeling upset, confused and having strange emotions.  First of all the paediatrician hadn't even seen her ultrasound photos as for some reason the machine wasn't transmitting the images down to him.  He hadn't explained about the harness or what DDH actually was.  I felt guilty for being so upset when there were babies that were seriously poorly- at the end of the day this was something that could be treated and she wasn't in any pain from it.

I got talking to a friend of a friend whose daughter was diagnosed with DDH and she recommended two things to me.  Firstly to try and get an appointment with a different Orthopedic Specialist based at a larger hospital near me and secondly to take a look at the Steps Charity website.

  http://www.steps-charity.org.uk

I did what she suggested and I found a vast amount of information on the website about DDH and other lower limb abnormalities.  There was case studies of children who had worn the Pavlik harness and other Hip Spica's and it put me at ease somewhat.

We got referred to the specialist and Mads has now been under his care for the last couple of months.  I am so glad we received a second opinion as it turns out that her hips are not as bad as the other hospital made us think originally.  He has advised at the moment that it would do more harm than good putting her in a harness as her hips are shallow but stable (i.e they are not dislocating) and so he advised us to put her in two nappies to push her legs out a little and see how we get on.  It is a rather unorthodox treatment that isn't medically proven but we decided to give it a go and trust his judgement.  

We just wear her normal Pamper's nappy and then just have a bigger Pamper's nappy over the top to push her legs out a bit more.

And it seems to be working.  We have been back twice now and each time her hips have improved more each time.  We went yesterday and one hip seems to be classed as normal, her right one still has a little way to go but we received the good news that he doesn't think that she will need to wear a harness.  

She still has to wear the double nappies for another two months and then we go back to see if it has completely stabilised but hopefully it has fixed itself without further treatment.  The only downside is it is costing us a fortune in nappies!

The condition is a lot more common than I originally was led to believe, about 1 in 100 babies can suffer with some form of DDH and Mads is one of the lucky ones who seems to only have a mild form.

So after yesterday all I can say is Hip Hip Hooray!

For more information about the fantastic work that the Steps Charity does click here.