Flashback Friday- The One Where We Get Engaged

As there is a rather small, low key wedding going on today, I felt like it was only right that my Flashback Friday for this week had a wedding theme.  Last week was my hen do and this week I have decided to take a trip down memory lane and write about the day Mr E decided to ask me to be his wife.


Mr E and I were living with my Mum at the time to save up some money for a deposit on a house, having moved back to Cambridgeshire from London.  He had told me that we were doing something exciting one weekend so as to make sure I didn't make any plans.  I had been going on and on about going to Go Ape so I honestly thought this was where we were going!


On the Thursday evening before said weekend we went out with my Mum and her partner to celebrate Mr E's 30th birthday as my Mum's partner was going on a climbing holiday and wouldn't be around for his actual birthday which was the following week.  We had a lovely time and drank lots of champagne and were quite tipsy so when Mr E awoke around 6am on the Friday morning I presumed it was because he was a bit hungover.


He was tossing and turning and obviously couldn't sleep so in the end I asked him what was wrong.  He turned round and out of the blue said 'Look under your pillow I think a fairy has been.'  I had just woken up and hadn't got my contact lenses in so was all disorientated!  I looked under the pillow and pulled out a small box.  I still don't think it really sank in but all of a sudden he uttered the best words 'Will you Marry me?'  I started crying my eyes out and jumping round the room.  My engagement ring was a beautiful platinum solitaire diamond.


He presented me with a goody bag which had lots of different bits in it including two plane tickets to Edinburgh for later on that afternoon.  He also had arranged for me to have my nails done that morning (in order to look my best for showing off the ring!)  He also arranged for some of my family to meet us in a bar near us for a champagne breakfast.


That afternoon we flew up to Edinburgh and it was one of the best weekends of my life.  We spent the daytimes mooching around the shops (where I also got terribly spoilt with perfume and a new purse!) and the first evening he had booked for us to go to Harvey Nichols for dinner.  One memorable part was when we decided to order a bottle of champagne.  As we were deciding the waiter came over with the bottle we were going to pick (Laurent Perrier Rose if anyone ever fancies buying me a bottle- its my favourite!) and a card.  We were totally confused until we opened it and my Mum had bought us one with a little card saying Congratulations.  That made me cry again!  The tables are quite close together and I dread to think what the couple next door thought of us!


The second night it was amazing because it was late August and the festival was just ending.  There was a lovely fireworks display on which was very romantic.  We got very tipsy as we went on a mini bar crawl.


Below is a small snapshot of photos from the weekend.

All in all it was a wonderful weekend, and Mr E made me the happiest person in the world when he asked me to be his wife.  Who would have thought that three years later we would have a lovely baby daughter!


Now head over to Cafe Bebe to have a look at some more memories...

Flashback Friday- We don't do Christmas by halves!

For my Flashback Friday this week I thought I would relive two very special Christmas Day's.  


I have always adored Christmas, when I was little it was for the presents (obviously!) and now it is because it is the one day of the year that life doesn't get in the way, I get to see all my family in one place, no one is rushing around here and there,  and I have their undivided attention.


I had never spent a Christmas Day away from my family until two years ago and I have now done it twice in a row!  


Christmas Day 2009 was the first time I had spent it away from them.  Mr E and I had just got married on the 20th December and we flew out on our honeymoon to Mexico and Miami on the 21st so we were away over the whole of Christmas and New Year.  It was a fabulous honeymoon and I loved every single second but it was strange not being with my family and opening our stockings together like we do every year!  I have been abroad over Christmas once before, we went to Dubai, but I have never been away without them.


It was a magical Christmas.  We woke up and each gave each other a gift that we had packed- mine was a charm for my bracelet and Mr E got a few different bits.  My mum had also packed us a present each.  We went for a lovely early morning walk on the beach and Mr E took this photo.

The beach was deserted which was lovely and we got a lone walker to snap the photo of us below.

We then lay by the pool and it was surreal because a saxophonist played Christmas songs while we were sunbathing and drinking champagne!  Below is a photo we took to send to our family to wish them a Happy Christmas. (And also make them jealous!)

We then had a candlelit dinner on the beach in the evening which was amazing, we were the only ones on the beach and we drank a lot of champagne and wine and celebrated our first Christmas together as husband and wife,






Fast forward to December 2010 and it was a slightly different story!

Our beautiful daughter was born on Christmas Eve and I was in hospital on Christmas Day.  Unfortunately the hospital had closed the ward to all visitors except your birth partner due to Swine Flu so my family couldn't meet Mads until we were discharged which upset me a bit.  Also they were strict with the visiting hours which meant that Mr E had to go home at lunchtime.  I enjoyed Christmas Lunch on my own while Mr E was round at my mums with all the family!


I got a midwife to snap this photo of me cause I just look so pitiful!  I had to pull my cracker with the midwife and have my Christmas dinner alone!  (Well Mads was there but she wasn't too entertaining!) 


That thing on my plate was supposed to be stuffing but after the midwife said it looked like my placenta I decided to give it a miss!

Here is Mads getting in to the festive spirit!


Two very different Christmases but both absolutely amazing!  This year we have promised my Mum that we will most definitely be there to drink and get merry with them all.  I can't wait, we will all be there but this time we will have an extra special little person there to share it with.  Christmas is going to get even more magical as she gets older because we can live the magic through her eyes.  I can't wait to put out a mince pie for Father Christmas and a carrot for Rudolph.  



Now head over to Cafe Bebe and check out the other entries in Flashback Friday this week.

My first major Mummy wobble.

Last night I had my first real feeling of  'I am not very good at this' and I didn't like it one bit.


Mads was fine during the day and then around 6pm she started getting a little grouchy.  I went off for a bath and Mr E was downstairs with her, he was cooking dinner while she was sitting in her bouncy chair.  I could hear her getting more and more grumpy so I went downstairs to look after her.


She suddenly started screaming and screaming and there was nothing we could do to stop her.  It was a cry unlike I have ever heard before.  It was a high pitch shriek, followed by a brief pause, followed by more shrieks.  I could tell she was in pain but I didn't know where or why.


I tried rocking her and this didn't work.  I tried cuddling her, stroking her, singing to her, putting her on the floor and rubbing her tummy, I took her nappy off and moved her legs, I tried feeding her, both from a bottle and then from me.  Nothing.  She just was screaming more and more and nothing I could do would stop her.


This carried on for about half an hour, but it felt like an eternity.  She was getting more and more worked up and her little face was streaming with tears.  She was looking at me, her eyes looked so unhappy and I felt dreadful that there was nothing I could do.  Eventually she stopped for all of ten minutes before starting again, this time more ferociously than the first.  In desperation I rang the emergency doctors but was left on hold for ten minutes- by this time she had stopped again.  We managed to feed her and get her to sleep in the end because I think she was so exhausted.


After she went to bed I just got so upset and Mr E didn't understand why.


What kind of Mum can't stop her daughter from crying?  Was it something I had done?  Had she got tummy ache from something I had eaten?


I then got panicked that she was going to be poorly in the night and I wouldn't know.  What if she got a temperature and a rash and I wasn't aware because I was asleep?


I have had situations with her where I have been worried before but it was the first time that I felt like there was nothing that I could do and it was horrible that I couldn't help her.  I felt like I couldn't comfort my own baby.


There are going to be a lot more occasions where I am going to question my parenting skills and I do know this.


The realisation dawned on me that myself and Mr E are going to mould our daughter into the child/teenager/adult she is going to become.  Her destiny in a way is in our hands.  We need to provide for her, give her a good home, a happy home life, and the emotional and physical support she will need in order to thrive.


We will need to pick her up and give her a hug when she falls off her bike, let her snuggle in our bed when she has had a bad dream, kiss away her tears when she has had a fight with her friends at school, try and make her smile when she has her heart broken by her first boyfriend.  We will have to discipline her if she doesn't do well at school, or have stern words if she upsets someone, I will go shopping with her to buy her first prom dress and have tears of joy running down my face when she walks up the aisle.


When I look into her tiny little eyes I don't look to the future, I just look to the here and now and how remarkable and amazing she is. It's only when I stop to think about it, I realise what exciting, tough and downright scary times I have ahead of me.


No one said being a parent is easy, but at the same time it's the most incredibly rewarding job in the world.


And although I will have my wobbles, all I know is that I am going to love my daughter unconditionally for the rest of my life.

How long should I wait to have my next baby?

Mads is only 15 weeks old and I have already had the inevitable question.


'When are you going to have another one?'


In fact I have been asked this question since she was just a month old.  A month!  My stitches on my c-section hadn't even healed and I was sleep deprived, fat and engorged.  I couldn't see myself wanting another child in a hurry, however amazing Mads was.


Fast forward a few weeks and it is a totally different story!  The summer is coming, Mads is at a brilliant age and I am starting to get more sleep.  I have got the hang of this Mummy malarky (sort of) and could totally see myself wanting another baby.


The question is when?


A lot of my friends are saying they want children really close together.  I can understand that.  Ideally I would like to wait until Mads is a year and then start trying for our second one.  However Mr E would like to wait until she is around two before we start again.


I just don't know.  What age gap is best?  I know I want to enjoy Mads without feeling fat, tired and sick from being pregnant again. However I am also aware that just because it was easy for me to get pregnant the first time, doesn't mean it will happen so easily again.


My mum had no problems conceiving me but then it took her another ten years of actively trying to have my sister.  They went for lots of tests and there didn't seem to be any problems- they put it down to 'unexplained infertility.'  Eventually my sister was born, and even now because there are almost ten and a half years between us, people always assume she is a step or half sister.


Another thing people always ask is whether we have any sort of bond because there is such a large age gap.  They assume that we have nothing in common and that we aren't close.


This is completely wrong.  In fact my little sister is one of my best friends.  She has my exact same sense of humour, and is a wonderful Auntie to Mads.  When I see her we just laugh constantly.


Here we are, then and now!

I happen to think that it is completely your choice and I find it quite frustrating when people constantly ask me when I am going to have my next one. It has been like that throughout mine and Mr E's relationship.  When are you going to get engaged?  When are you going to get married?  When are you going to have a baby?  Now when are you going to have another baby?  I want to enjoy this one thank you very much!  


We will start trying for our second one when we are good and ready, hopefully it won't take ten years, but even if it did, I know that our children will have a close bond because we are a family that are full of love and closeness.  

Flashback Friday- dedicated to my hubby!

For Flashback Friday this week, I thought I would write a post about my hubby.  After all he is included in the title of my blog and is a fabulous Daddy to Mads.

Above is one of the first photos we have together.  This was six years ago and we were at Alton Towers, and a friend took this of us when weren't looking.  I have bleached blond hair, and am wearing hot pants. (I couldn't get them over my thigh's now!) and Mr E is wearing some rather unfashionable shorts.

At this point our relationship was still a secret and only a few people knew.  We had already known each other two years at this point and had lived together as friends for a long time just me and him.  

I knew that he had feelings for me but scared of losing his friendship nothing happened between us for a long time.  He decided to buy a house and I moved in with another friend and so the tenancy ran out on our flat.  On the day we were packing up our things I realised how much I was going to miss him.  We ended up kissing and have been together ever since.

We have lived in Leeds, London and now Cambridgeshire, have had amazing times, brilliant times and tough times, but throughout it all we have always stayed the best of friends.  We have travelled to the most amazing destinations, had the most drunken and crazy nights out, laughed till we cried and cried till we laughed.  

In December 2009 we sealed the deal and got married.  

Above is my favourite photo from our wedding.  We had some amazing pictures taken, posed ones and capturing the moment ones.  I love this one because although it is not the most flattering (I have teeth and gums like a horse) I feel it sums up our day the best.  I am laughing hysterically and I am cuddling Mr E, something which I have done pretty much every single day in the last six years.

It was one of the best days of my life so far- it snowed but there was beautiful bright sun in the sky.  All our family and friends were there and I was showing my commitment to my best friend.

Fast forward another year and on the 24th December 2010 our beautiful Mads was born.  (We seem to enjoy making December a rather expensive month)  Our family is complete.......for now!!

So this post is dedicated to Mr E, who although is the most messy creature alive, doesn't brush the cat enough and likes red wine when I like white, is my rock, my best friend and my hubby!

(Ok mushiness over now....pass the sick bucket.)

Now head over to Cafe Bebe and go back in time!

Mummy Love- The Gallery

So the title of this weeks 'The Gallery,' is Mother Love.


This is a great subject for me as I am currently in my little bubble of motherly loveliness that comes with having a new baby.  I could literally put hundreds of photos of me and Mad's up, but instead I thought I would put one of myself and my mum up.

This is me with my beautiful Mummy on her wedding day last July.  It was a wonderful day and one that I will remember for a long time.


There is actually two Mum's in the photo because I was 13 weeks pregnant when it was taken.


The day before her wedding had been our first scan and we had seen our little baby for the first time.  My Mum had known from the day we found out but had been sworn to secrecy.  My new stepfather announced the big news in his wedding speech which was a wonderful way for all our family to find out.


The sun was shining, myself and Mr E were thrilled and my Mum had a fabulous time so all in all it was a pretty fantastic day.


My Mum is my role model.  Not necessarily because of what she has done career wise, but for being my Mum.  She is truly a wonderful Mother to myself and my little sister and now she is a wonderful Grandma to Mads too.


I speak to her every day and now live just two minutes down the road from her, after moving around so much when I was in my early twenties because of University and jobs, its nice to now be settled and to be able to pop round for a cup of tea.  She never gets off the phone without saying I love you and she gives the best cuddles!


She has also helped us so much financially after helping us towards a deposit on our house when we were struggling because mortgage's were so hard to apply for.  She has made some huge sacrifices in her life to help us, and I couldn't be more thankful.


Above all though she is my best friend, and I adore spending time with her.  I am so lucky to have her as my Mum and I can only hope that I can be as good a Mummy to my daughter as she has been to me.


Here's to mother love...!

An early Mother's Day post...My first one as a Mummy...

I have been writing Mads letters every few weeks, I just buy a pretty blank card normally and write them in that, the first one I wrote was the night before she was born and I hope to continue them every few weeks until she is old enough to read them and know how much her Mummy loves her.


As it is Mother's Day tomorrow I thought I would post the most recent one on here-




Dearest Mads,


Well tomorrow is Mother's Day, my first one as a Mummy.  This time last year you didn't even exist but now you are a fully functional little person who brings so much love and joy to our lives.


Today you are 14 weeks and 1 day old.  I can't believe it, time is going so fast.  I keep thinking that I can't possibly love you any more than I do but then you flash me one of your beautiful gummy smiles and my heart melts and fills with even more love than it did before.


Your growing and changing everyday.  Daddy and I were looking at the photos on my phone this afternoon as we went for a coffee with you and we were marvelling about how much you had changed in just a few weeks.  You have lost that newborn baby fat and instead have little chubby cheeks- perfect for kissing. (I wonder how many times I kiss you a day?)
You have the most beautiful, big blue eyes and my when you smile it lights up your whole face.  Just in the last few days you have been trying to giggle, normally after I have fed you and we are lying there cuddling- its so funny and makes me laugh.  Your not quite there yet but it won't be long.


Every morning I wake up and you are just lying quietly in your moses basket next to me.  As soon as you see me, you start smiling and let out a little squeal and it is the best morning wake up call.


We have been doing lots of things together- we do Baby Yoga on a Tuesday, swimming lessons on a Wednesday, and visit friends on all the other days.  Mummy relishes every single second with you- your my new best friend and the weeks are passing by so quickly as we are having so much fun.


You love playing under your mat- you like your purple hippo best, you stare at him and chatter away to him and have just recently started reaching up to try and touch all your hanging toys.  You also love swimming and bath's, your happiest when your in the water.  My little water baby!


You have a little seahorse in your moses basket that plays a song and in the night I find you cuddled up next to him- it never fails to send you off to sleep.  You have always been pretty good at sleeping but the last few days you have been waking a bit more, we are wondering whether you are teething.


Tomorrow is Mother's Day and I truly couldn't ask for a more perfect baby to call my daughter.  The love I have for you is truly unconditional and I would do anything for you, now and always.  I have been lucky to have the most wonderful Mummy (your Grandma!) and I only hope that I can be as good a Mummy to you as she has been to me.  I always wanted a daughter so I could share that special relationship like I do with my Mum, and I know that we will have it too.


I can't wait to see how you grow over the next few weeks until I write my next letter, but I just wanted to say for the millionth time how much I love you.  We truly have been blessed and I can't still believe you are finally here.  You are the best thing thats ever happened to me (besides from Daddy) and your the bestest Christmas present I have ever and will ever receive.


I love you to the moon and back,


Mummy xxxx