We went out for dinner last night to celebrate my Mum's birthday and were having a jokey discussion with my sister and stepsister and her boyfriend about how we honestly 'used to be cool!' My step sister used to live in America until a year ago so we have only known her and her boyfriend since she moved back to the UK. When she first arrived I was 12 weeks pregnant so she has only ever known me as a Mum to be and a Mummy.
I was joking around with them all and saying that when Mr E and I met we honestly were good fun! It was all said in jest but it did get me thinking. Has parenthood changed us?
Take a look at these two photos.
The first one is when Mr E and I first got together. Life was just one big haze of pulling all nighters, drinking far too much, and having no cares in the world except which outfit to wear on a night out and which cocktail to choose. I was working in a bar having finished university and was just enjoying myself. We had no responsibilities. I lived in a gorgeous rented flat in Leeds city centre and all my money went on clothes, alcohol and going out to nice restaurants.
The second one was taken on Mother's Day just recently. Life is now completely different. We have a lot of responsibilities, we are parents, we have a huge mortgage and money is tight because all our wages go on paying our outgoing bills. We both have different jobs, I am an account manager (when not on maternity leave eating cake) and Mr E is a web designer. I get tipsy after a glass of wine and I haven't been in a nightclub for well over a year. I can't remember the last time I was outrageously drunk.
We have physically changed in the photos.
Six years has passed and we look older. My hair is not so shiny and long and I have realised that sunbeds are bad for you. Mr E's hair is going a little thin up top. (He told me yesterday he reads my blog at work so I need to be careful what I say!) We both have added a few pounds to our waistlines!
But its not the physical differences that I am talking about.
Its the emotional changes that you can't see.
Have we changed since having our beautiful Mads? The answer is yes we have. Not in a bad way, just different. And not really since having our daughter, just since 'growing up' and having responsibilities.
We don't have the money to go out all the time. And I most certainly wouldn't want to anymore. I would much prefer to go out and have dinner in a nice restaurant than go to a nightclub. I would still like to buy lots of clothes but now I enjoy buying them for Mads even more.
I do worry that we don't get to have time as a couple as much anymore but we are lucky that my Mum loves babysitting Mads so we try and go out for a drink for an hour once a week. Life gets in the way and we don't have much disposable income but buying our home is helping us secure our future. Compared to a lot of people we are very lucky that we have managed to get on the property ladder so we shouldn't complain. In a few years once we change our mortgage deal we will be in a fortunate position so its just a case of muddling along financially until then. We get tired, we snap at each other occasionally but we are so lucky.
Lucky to have such a beautiful girl, lucky to have a fabulous home, lucky to have a supportive family and lucky to have each other.
Yes a Slippery Nipple is more likely to be something to do with breastfeeding than an alcoholic shot these days but I wouldn't change it for the world.
However I know what we used to get up too, so when we have these discussions in the future I can safely relax in the knowledge that we did 'use to be cool!'